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Where We Are Now

There are very few things in my life now that I can actually say I hate I dislike a lot of things but hate is a powerful word. I use to hate everybody and everything, when I became CLEAR in prison I looked in the mirror and I realized everything I hated was staring back at me. 20 years later i’m still not sure what I see in the mirror but at least I don’t see that hate. two things I do hate one of them is grey area’s and the other one is this very page I HATE this page with everything in my soul, I don’t want you to hate this page I want you to understand it, love it, and share it. To me every post and every word comes with 45 years of painful memories, I’m 53 and I have known addiction on a personal level since the ripe old age of 9 and no that’s not a typo my addiction started at my kitchen table with my parent’s it killed both of them and half my family. Now you understand why i hate this page? The second thing I hate, GREY AREAS I hate grey areas in my life, the reason why there is so much info on this page is because.. I have a problem with stopping its an obsession I’ve come to love / hate , I have to break everything down to its black or white conclusion, if something else comes up i have to chase that too, that obsession is what made all of this work possible. I tried to thread this addiction through every social aspect and there are still a few more to go and I want to apologize for the way I am presenting this, my goal is to pack as much info into each post, as I had said if this was a book each post would be the power points to a chapter in that book, but i have to tell it before I could ever sell it, (just my own personal rule). if you notice most of my posts are done on the weekend and that’ s because its the quietest time in my house. I wanted to post this before I got into posting about facts myths and that grey area between what addicts are feeling and what experts are saying. thanks and stay tuned.

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